Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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Large 4

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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