Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops