My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Women's rights...

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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hi mom

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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Your life

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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