What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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being sober in a bar fight

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops