Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Where there is a will, there is generally a grieving family... I miss you, dad.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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