-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man and a woman are happily married. The die

thumb_up thumb_down -13

this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops