Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Chicken

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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