Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

What did the car do? CRASH!

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

What's black and breaks your stove when falling from a tree? Your stove

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

who cares wats behind the green class door people cant be in it

A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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