A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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dude ur such a bon of a sitch

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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Why was the baby crying? Because she had a frog nailed to her face.

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Caolan and Eamon

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What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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