What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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