How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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