What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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punchline below punchline above

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Women's rights.

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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