What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops