When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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what is the color of a burp burple

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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1d

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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