why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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Knock Knock Who's There? Steve Steve who? Your friend Steve, you called and told me to come over. Oh, come in.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops