7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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