3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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