Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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What happenend after the chicken tried to cross the road? a KFC opend

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What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops