Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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XD Jackass.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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