Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do cows in Africa say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops