What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

Atheism

Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

8--------------------- penis

what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

live or die you decide to late time to die

what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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