Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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