How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

............................................................................................................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .thumbs up!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's funny about war? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock CUM IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is orange? an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between Justin bieber and a dick... The dick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops