How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops