- Anti Joke

What did the biological child say to his adopted sister? We are both loved equally by our parents.

What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

Women's Rights

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

the only thing funny about this website is the fact ciaran hawkins is in love with it

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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