70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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Neil Lewis

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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2 + 2 = fish

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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