what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms? Mat.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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What's greasier than a baby? A burger

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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