Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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You know what's gay? Grabbing another man's penis.

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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