What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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What comes after 23? 24.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Who wins the battle of climbing a fence, the Mexican Man or the Black Man? The Mexican Man, the Black Man is still hanging from the tree.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops