What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Last words of a redneck - "Hold my beer and watch this"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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