Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? When you think that there is no worm in your apple, but after your second bite you look down in disgust as you notice you have eaten half of the worm and see the other half wriggling about in your apple.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops