your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops