Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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hi anti joke

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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