- Anti Joke

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

Gay republicans

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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