What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

Dakota Fanning

Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

Tilt your screen back

whats polish and black a polish black person

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

HOLY SHIT!!!!

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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