hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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Microwave

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops