If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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CRY

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops