whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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were at work systems r down

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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My love life

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Justin Bieber.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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