Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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I need to start studying.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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The Charlotte Bobcats

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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