Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

thumb_up thumb_down +19

so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops