a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops