- Anti Joke

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

I'd like to make a withdraw

What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

A women in the kitchen.

Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.