A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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