An Englishman walks into a bar.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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