BOTTOM!!!

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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