What is the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I take my cleats off when I jump on trampolines

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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BOTTOM!!!

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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