I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Basically copying you.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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OOOOPPS /

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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