A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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A blonde walked into a bar.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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