What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Is it normal to eat breakfastr in the morning? Yes By Logan in South Dakota

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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