What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

watch a i d s left

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

Why did the fridge cross the road? Because Sally has no arms

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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