- Anti Joke

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

What does water smell like? water.

Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

like this if you think what ever you want to..

" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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