Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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Yo Momma is so fat she is at risk of contracting Type 2 Diabetes.

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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Whats a buch of blacks running down a hill called? The Detroit, MI marathon in seeing that 84.3% of Detroit's population is of Arican descent.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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ecks! why zee?

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Roses are black Violets are too I am a dog I don't know how to rhyme

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Y

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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