what is long black and smelly the welfare line

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops